To what this future holds

I wonder some days as to who I am becoming, what I am underneath it all.

I sit in an office starring into a false reality 42.5 hours a week, 170 hours a month, 2,040 hours a year.

I close my eyes Monday morning and when I open them it is Friday afternoon and I'm leaving work. My life is in fast forward.

When I was a child it felt like four lifetimes for the school year to finish and summer to come along. Now I jump from year to year like a stone skipping on water.

What I need is a purpose.

What this purpose will be I have no idea. I write this down simply to remind myself that there is more than just this job, this house, this car.

You see my reality has been deformed by the very things I love. The language I speak, the country I live, the books I read, the television I watch and the people I love have all distorted my reality and my self in one way or another.

What I am is a by-product of infinite stimuli fighting over which one is seen, heard, experienced.

What exists is a limitless potential to become.

I could quit my job today and tear down this illusion of "I" and build something new, something different.

However that is not the point. To replace a mask with but another mask you will continue to remain hidden.

What I need is to find how to remove said mask and resist the urge to cover up once more.

I wonder who and what I am, and to what I will become.